Fisherman’s Wharf, San Francisco, California

Seafoods at Fisherman’s Wharf

Golden Gate Bridge

Sausalito

Lombard Street, “the crookedest street in the world”

Trip to Monterey Bay

A dream came into reality last May. I made my first trip to the USA! Yeheyy!! Honestly, i can’t explain why i waited so long to go there, whereas i could have done it since 20 years ago. My impressions of the Great Land of Possibilities? Let’s start with the first destination Houston, Texas….

Just before landing, as soon as the height of the plane was deep enough for me to comprehend what is underneath, an awesome view of houses with swimming pool in various shapes & sizes was the first that caught my eyes. Wow! I thought all the people down below must all be rich! I haven’t seen such an immense number of pools clustered in one area. Only when i reached the modest house of my cousin with 4 bedrooms, 2 carports & a huge living room did i understand that swimming pools in that State isn’t a luxury but a necessity. Hell, was it hot there! And that’s all year round. Then i thought why we can’t see a single pool in Germany from the bird’s eye view? Because pools there are all indoor! Or do you think you can swim in a freezing pool during winter time? Houston reminds me more of the Philippines with rows of houses right along the expressway just separated by a local road adjacent to the express lanes. Unlike in Europe, the houses here are far away from the Autobahn. You will seldom see a house along side the Expressway here. Aside from the joy & excitement of seeing my cousin & her family (gosh, the last time i saw my inaanak, the son of my cousin, he was only 3 years old, now he will soon to graduate from college next year), there’s nothing historical to see in Houston. It is a modern city where the only thing that wakes my interest was the George Bush Library & Museum. In comparison with other States, i was told that the standard of living in Texas (and Arizona as well) is more cheaper. But what made this city really worthy of the trip? Was it my cousin? The Museum? Nope….. It is the Steak!! Omigosh, i ate in Houston the tastiest, juiciest & biggest T-Bone steak in my life! And that in a typical authentic cowboy-style salon. You bet i will be going back there again soon…

After spending four days in Texas, i flew to Tucson, Arizona to visit my college friend there. Hah! Arizona, here i come!!

First impression while looking out of the window while the plane is descending…. desert & a few scattered mountains. The earth down below was dry, baked & blond. The color must be due to lack of green vegetation. I came, i conquer & i sweat more! Tucson is a small desert city. The downtown comprises of a few tall buildings which can be counted in one hand and so a small city that after turning left & right in the road you’re out of the city again. It’s hotter there than in Texas. While touring the desert area with my friend & husband, i imagined walking in a hot, dusty land with animal skeletons & cactus scattered all over the area. True enough! Because i really saw lots of cactus in different varieties, some were small, some were beautiful, and some were huge and looking like humans with its two arms. The only thing that’s missing was the animal skeleton, otherwise you can already feel being a part of a John Wayne movie. Speaking of movies, the counterpart of Universal Studios in the desert was in Tucson. The tour guide there explained that most of the western movies & TV series were shot in Old Tucson Studios including Aim High, Little House on the Prairie & Chaparral to name a few. If you want to visit the Studios, then you have to set aside a whole day because the place has lots to offer like horse riding, guided tour in train around the place, museums, cancan shows, cowboy shows with all the gunfighting & falling from the roof etc. We also visited a very old church in the middle of the desert called San Xavier del Bac which was the pioneer in converting the indians to Christianity that used to dwell in that area. And what about food in Tucson? Breakfast galore in I-Hopp was a super hit! This restaurant offers a real American delightful breakfast with everything that goes with it…. Pancakes with different kinds of Maple syrup, fried eggs with bacon, hotdogs & hash etc. That was such a feasty meal with gusto! After three days in Arizona, i stepped inside the plane again going West……

MANNY: Hmm… eh di combine nalang name natin.

JINKY: Magandang idea yan… anong name naman?

MANNY: “Manky”!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

MAN: Miss, 5 viagra nga…

TINDERA: Dami naman Sir!

MAN: Yes, very hot ang date ko eh.

Next Day……

MAN: Miss, 2 boteng Betadine nga..

TINDERA: Sir, anong nangyari sa kamay nyo?

MAN: Hmp, bwiset, di sumipot date ko!!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

LADY: I’m always tired.

DOC: How often do you have sex?

LADY: Daily.

DOC: Skip Saturday.

LADY: I can’t, that’s the only day i’m home with my husband…!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

A boy asked his Dad what’s the difference between TRUTH & BELIEF: The father says, “this is your mom, that’s the Truth…, i am your father, that’s my BELIEF…!!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

Mag-asawa nag-aaway…..

BABAE: Punyeta ka!

LALAKI: Punyeta ka rin!

BABAE: Tarantado ka!

LALAKI: Tarantado ka rin!

BABAE: Demonyo!

LALAKI: Demonyita ka naman!

BABAE: SUPOT!

LALAKI: Kase naman Love, sorry na…..

hehehe….!!!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

Sa Canteen….

JUAN: Miss isang babaeng Siopao nga.

WAITRESS: Babaeng Siopao?

JUAN: Oo, yun may papel na sapin, kumbaga may napkin.

WAITRESS: Ah ganun ba? Ang andito bakla.

JUAN: Bakla?!

WAITRESS: Oo! May sapin din pero may itlog sa loob…!!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

ANAK: Nay, totoo ba na “first love never dies?”

NAY: Ano pa! Tignan mo ang tatay mo, first love ko yan, kaya hanggang ngayon buhay pa ang animal..!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

ANAK: Inay, totoo po bang sabi ng titser na ang baby ay galing sa malaking ibon?

INAY: Yung ibang baby siguro…. pero ikaw, sigurado ako galing ka sa maliit na ibon…!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

Textmates will eyebol….

GIRL: Magsusuot ako ng yellow, ikaw?

BOY: I’ll wear green t-shirt.

At the coffee shop…. ugly girl in yellow came in. No guy in green. She approached the guy in red…

GIRL: Excuse me, are you my textmate?

BOY: Oyy hindi ah, naka-green ba ko ?!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

Away mag-asawa…..

MR: Pag namatay ka isusulat ko sa lapida mo…”malamig nung buhay, mas malamig nung patay!”

MRS: Ganun! Pag ikaw namatay, ilalagay ko…”sa wakas, tumigas din!”