JOKES TO SAVE YOUR DAY

June 6, 2009• Filed under: Jokes• Posted by: Curacha • Comments (2)

JINKY: Manny, kung magkaka-anak uli tayo ano magandang name?

MANNY: Hmm… eh di combine nalang name natin.

JINKY: Magandang idea yan… anong name naman?

MANNY: “Manky”!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

MAN: Miss, 5 viagra nga…

TINDERA: Dami naman Sir!

MAN: Yes, very hot ang date ko eh.

Next Day……

MAN: Miss, 2 boteng Betadine nga..

TINDERA: Sir, anong nangyari sa kamay nyo?

MAN: Hmp, bwiset, di sumipot date ko!!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

LADY: I’m always tired.

DOC: How often do you have sex?

LADY: Daily.

DOC: Skip Saturday.

LADY: I can’t, that’s the only day i’m home with my husband…!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

A boy asked his Dad what’s the difference between TRUTH & BELIEF: The father says, “this is your mom, that’s the Truth…, i am your father, that’s my BELIEF…!!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

Mag-asawa nag-aaway…..

BABAE: Punyeta ka!

LALAKI: Punyeta ka rin!

BABAE: Tarantado ka!

LALAKI: Tarantado ka rin!

BABAE: Demonyo!

LALAKI: Demonyita ka naman!

BABAE: SUPOT!

LALAKI: Kase naman Love, sorry na…..

hehehe….!!!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

Sa Canteen….

JUAN: Miss isang babaeng Siopao nga.

WAITRESS: Babaeng Siopao?

JUAN: Oo, yun may papel na sapin, kumbaga may napkin.

WAITRESS: Ah ganun ba? Ang andito bakla.

JUAN: Bakla?!

WAITRESS: Oo! May sapin din pero may itlog sa loob…!!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

ANAK: Nay, totoo ba na “first love never dies?”

NAY: Ano pa! Tignan mo ang tatay mo, first love ko yan, kaya hanggang ngayon buhay pa ang animal..!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

ANAK: Inay, totoo po bang sabi ng titser na ang baby ay galing sa malaking ibon?

INAY: Yung ibang baby siguro…. pero ikaw, sigurado ako galing ka sa maliit na ibon…!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

Textmates will eyebol….

GIRL: Magsusuot ako ng yellow, ikaw?

BOY: I’ll wear green t-shirt.

At the coffee shop…. ugly girl in yellow came in. No guy in green. She approached the guy in red…

GIRL: Excuse me, are you my textmate?

BOY: Oyy hindi ah, naka-green ba ko ?!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

Away mag-asawa…..

MR: Pag namatay ka isusulat ko sa lapida mo…”malamig nung buhay, mas malamig nung patay!”

MRS: Ganun! Pag ikaw namatay, ilalagay ko…”sa wakas, tumigas din!”



JOKE ONLY

March 8, 2009• Filed under: Jokes• Posted by: Curacha • Comments (15)

“I tried my best to wait for you…
I shouted too loud, still you didn’t come out…
You didn’t even respond to my call…
Now, You want me to go back?….”

-MAGBABALOT nag-inarte

-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#

Its just 6 inches long…
Pero ito’y hahanapin mo pag natikman habang matigas…
Masarap sipsipin ang katas ng…..

ICE CANDY….

Ingat po sa tulo….

Malagkit…!!

-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#

Mga Simpleng Pangarap ng Tao:

Pedro: Gusto ko maging Nurse para makatulong sa kapwa…

Erning: Ako duktor para makagamot ng kapwa…

Nene: Ako Superhero para makasagip ng nagigipit na kapwa…

Kiko: Ako Mayor, tutulungan ko kapwa ko…

Lino: Ako Presidente, maglilingkod ako sa kapwa….

Juan Tamad: Gusto ko maging KAPWA, para tiba-tiba….!!

-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#

GIRL: ‘Tay, nagbold po ako sa magasin, nasa page 10 picture ko…

ITAY: Kinakahiya kita! Sa palagay mo ba may mas nakakahiya pa sa ginawa mo?

GIRL: Meron po ‘tay! Si Inay sa page 16, si Lola sa page 26 !!

-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#

MRS: Magkano ang facelift day?

DOC: 145,000.

MRS: Ang mahal! Anong pinakamurang treatment para magmuka akong bata?

DOC: Heto tsupon! 20 pesos lang!

-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#

ANAK: ‘Tay sabi ni titser kailangan namin ng COCOMBAN…

TATAY: Anak, 15 anyos ka na yan pa rin ang tawag mo…

ANAK: Ano po ba dapat?

TATAY: E di, BOMB PEPPER !!

-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#

A priest at the church……

LADY: Father, ang guwapo at cute mo naman, bakit ka pa kasi nagpari?

PRIEST: Dahil ayaw pumayag ng mga magulang ko na magmadre ako, bruha!!



I Moved

February 10, 2009• Filed under: Uncategorized• Posted by: Curacha • Comments (13)

It was in November last year when i received a letter from my landlady telling me to look for another apartment because she will be needing my unit for her personal use. Though i admit to be surprised, but i wasn’t disappointed at all. I had been toying with the idea to move, but comfortable as i am, i always postpone the search for a new abode. My old apartment was simply too small, there wasn’t a basement nor a stockroom to put the stuffs that i don’t need which resulted for my bedroom to look like a warehouse. On every available space in the bedroom were empty luggage bags, off-season clothes & beddings and empty boxes of my appliances (yup, i don’t throw the boxes of my LCD TV, Dolby Surround Sound System, Monitor etc) for the reason of storing them safely in original package in case i’ll move… and it happened !! I was given till the end of February 2009 to look for another dwelling, but why wait till the deadline if i can move earlier? So, i didn’t waste time and searched at once in internet for my dream house. First & foremost criteria: it must be accessible to all public transportation. In just a few days after the notice, i was able to find a better and nicer place to live. It has a bigger kitchen and…. a basement! It looks brighter with lights coming from both sides of the house and it has a friendly, peaceful atmosphere. Unfortunately, the rent was also more expensive (hey, what do i expect?). Anyways, i called the owner of the new apartment at once, got an appointment and introduced myself carrying the sweetest smile on my face and the most charming presence of my being… the weapon of a woman (P.S. i wasn’t the only one interested for that house… there were at least 3 people there when i came). After examining the papers of all the applicants (passport or state ID, pay slip, insurance etc), i won the heart of the landlord! I got the house and moved right after the last smoke of firecrackers disappeared from the street. Yes, i moved right after New Year!

Now came the actual transfer of abode. Hell, i didn’t know i horded a lot of things in that small place that i had, not to mention a truckload of rubbish like old furnitures & other stuffs that i already disposed a day before. The mover truck came back three times (!) till the ex-apartment was finally empty. Luckily, four Pinoy male friends eagerly (were they really eager or just couldn’t say no?) helped me moved. Note: the new apartment was on the third floor, no elevator. You could imagine how the guys looked like after the last spoon was carried upstairs! All of them, without exemption got cramps on their legs. Poor guys! I think the next time i’ll move again, they will be nowhere to be found.. hehehe!

It took me almost a month to repack the boxes, clean & furnish the new place. Due to so much stress, i got sick right after moving. Well actually the sickness can be anticipated, because the temperature on that day was below 0°C. I think my sweat turned into ice droplets but i just didn’t notice it. Somehow, slowly but surely, my rampage place is taking the shape of a lovely place to live. Almost everything were already on their proper places, my fever was gone and i’m getting used to sleeping on my bed again after a long day’s work. Just some curtains & repainting of the dining room, then i can sit with my feet up and sigh…” Thanks God, it’s beautiful!”



GOODBYE LONELINESS

January 20, 2009• Filed under: Uncategorized• Posted by: Curacha • Comments (11)

On my last birthday, i gave myself a big break to finally open the gate, ring a big joyous bell to welcome the dawn of a new day in my blessed life. I invited all my dearest friends who always stayed with me & consoled me in my seemingly never-ending-series of sadness. I threw out a big birthday party in a Karaoke Restaurant & cried out to hell that starting that day i will only be happy till the end of my life!! I wont tolerate anybody who will dare invade my wonderful days to turn them into a disaster again. I will just laugh, live & love to the fullest… I owe that to myself!! So people out there who made me cry, who inflicted pain in my heart… you are not welcome anymore!!

Here are some pics taken from my birthday celebration. My only wish to God… everlasting joy & health for me & my family.

cake My Ube Cake.

cake slice The celebrant.

eating Its dinner time!!

singing Kantahan na!!

tequila Cheers!



Heading To Nowhere

July 22, 2008• Filed under: Uncategorized• Posted by: Curacha • Comments (11)

Where my eyes used to glow in all beautiful new things that surround me, they just stare unaffected now…

Where i used to laugh in all jokes even though how nonsense they are, my lips stayed closed now…

Where my mind used to be very creative before, now i cant think of anything anymore…

Where my body used to crave for action & fun, now i just sit & sulk….

Where i used to look at the brighter side of life, now its all dim & unclear…

Where i used to have endless dreams & plans, now i don’t even know what i want…

Where i used to feel flattered for every compliments that i receive, now i’m full of doubts & disdain….

Im not depressed…

Just melancholic & lonesome…

The blows that struck my life in the last two years might just be too much for my sensitive heart..

The heart that only gave so much care & love…

Was broken & mending too slow…

Wish the words “letting go & moving on” would be easier done than said…

Wish that the wheel of life will roll faster so i could be on top again…

Wish that the rain would stop so the sun can shine in my life again…

Wish that there will be no more hatred & heartaches…

Wish that i will find the right path than just blindly walk getting to nowhere…



Let It Go

March 12, 2008• Filed under: Uncategorized• Posted by: Curacha • Comments (15)

God has His way to communicate with us. Sometimes thru His angels or natural signs. Today, God send me His message thru an angel… my cousin! Since two weeks now, i have been in constant one to one talk with God. I always do it everytime im hurt, depressed, sad or when times get tough & bad with me. Last month a very bad news hit me unaware & threw me mercilessly crying on the floor. I admit that since i knew about it, an unpleasant depression wrapped my body that resulted to many sleepless nights, fast heart beats that made me feel sometimes that im going to have a heart attack soon, no appetite…& worst, i drink wine in some nights just to drowned my loneliness…Sigh! When i checked my emails this afternoon, i found a very interesting email from my cousin that made think it was God himself who sent it to me. My heavy heart turns lighter & i felt a strong relief after reading it. I wanted to share to you this wonderful message that God send me thru His angel named Joy….the message is awesome!!!

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people walk away from you: let them walk. I don’t want you to try to talk to that person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can’t make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead. You’ve got to know when it’s dead.

You’ve got to know when it’s over. Let me tell you something. I’ve got the gift of good-bye. It’s the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It’s not that I’m hateful, it’s that I’m faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have, He’ll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don’t need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to……

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ……

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can’t treat you right, love you back, and see your worth…..

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you.

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge……

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction……

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents

LET IT GO!!!

If you u have a bad attitude…….

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better……

LET IT GO!!!

If you’re stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him……..

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship…….

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won’t even try to help themselves……

LET IT GO!!!

If you’re feeling depressed and stressed ……….

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying ‘take your hands off of it,’ then you need to……

LET IT GO!!!

‘The Battle is the Lord’s!’

During the next 60 seconds, Stop whatever you are doing, and take this opportunity.
(Literally it is only ONE minute!)
All you have to do is the following:
You simply say ‘The Lords Prayer”..

The Lords Prayer
Our Father, who are in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name, Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the Kingdom, and the Power, and the Glory, forever.
Amen.

Next, stop and think and appreciate God’s power in your life, for doing what you know is pleasing to Him.



The Serenity Prayer

March 6, 2008• Filed under: Uncategorized• Posted by: Curacha • Comments (8)

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change…

Courage to change the things I can

And Wisdom to know the difference…



Why Do I Blog

August 22, 2007• Filed under: Memes• Posted by: Curacha • Comments (21)

It has been more than two months now since i last posted an article. My mind’s just fell blank since my Dad passed away. Everything seemed unimportant, unbecoming, illusionary & meaningless. I gave myself a short break that i deserve in life…a slower pace, peaceful mind, sleeping long, jogging, pilates… in short, life without any stress. But now im back, though hardly recovered from a big crisis and agony… whatever.. life must go on!

I have to start my comeback (parang artistang bumalik sa showbiz..hehe) with a tag which was already due long ago. MissP tagged me to write why i blog. So here are the reasons why im here:

…i blog out of curiousity. When i bought my pc two years ago, i really didnt have any expectations about the use of this machine. I was computer illiterate. MissP was so helpful to show me what this pc is for. She learned me how to use it, explained patiently all what i should know, including bloghopping. Then i asked her if i can also do blogging… the rest is history.

…i blog to practice my English. Since i came in Germany some decades ago, i must admit that my command of the English language was neglected & became poorer.. but on the contrary, my Deutsch became fluent. Since English was not really my mother tongue, the absence of practice will lead to forgetfulness. Thats why blogging opens for me the opportunity to balance my fluency of the two languages.

…i blog to meet friends. Its amazing how this internet wonder can connect people in all corners of the world. Though i have never met any of the bloggers that used to visit my site, aside from MissP & cheH whom i know personally, but still, i feel comfortable & happy whenever i see their comments, as if a real, touchable friend do really visited me.

…i blog to widen my knowledge. Bloghopping is like eating from a buffet table. The variety of topics that can be read in different blogs are so thrilling, mind enhancing, fun & knowledgeable. I admire some bloggers of their wide vocabulary, usage of high falluting words & expertise in writing. Ohh, i wish i could also reach that level of written communication…

…finally, i blog to express my inner thoughts & feelings. Living all alone in a foreign country, far away from the family, & without a family of my own, it could be lonesome sometimes. There were times when i dont have anyone to talk to, to share my thoughts with or to engage in an intellectual talk. I found blogging as an outlet to communicate to all the people out there who have the same interest in reading & writing. This is a way when i do monolog first, but then i know after a while, listeners will come & would gladly start an interesting dialog with me.

I will not tag anybody about this topic because this might already be passe…. di na uso dahil naluma na kakaintay sa sagot ko. So my dear blog friends, you can breath freely now coz im not giving you obligation to continue with this…



His Last Breath…….

June 18, 2007• Filed under: Uncategorized• Posted by: Curacha • Comments (21)

“Andito na tayo sa bahay Dad, nakauwi ka na.” …..”Kuya Ruben! Kuya Ruben! Ang Daddy di na ata humihinga!… Daddy, ‘Dy..Daaaaddyyyy!!!!!!”

It was a gloomy, humid day when i arrived at the NAIA on Thursday, 14th June 2007….when i hurriedly flew home upon knowing that my beloved father was already on a very critical condition. Before i took my plane, i called my Dad to make him promise to wait for me. He was almost comatose but still, he heard and understood what i was telling him coz with utmost effort, he tried to answer me, “Oo, uwi ka na..” With just a small and almost empty luggage, i took the next possible flight to Manila. My brother who fetched me at the airport took me straight to the hospital where dad was confined since June 6, 2007. The person i saw lying on his bed looks like a stranger to me. He lost too much weight, his yellowish eyes open but uncomprehending and the mouth covered with oxygen mask was grasping for air. My heart tore upon seeing him that way. I couldnt help but cry out my pain, feeling so helpless and useless not knowing how i could help my poor father to release him from his suffering. His breathing was hard and deep, the intervals sometimes too long that i panic thinking that the next breathing might not come again. After a long deliberation with my family, and only after a doctor and a nurse relative of ours promised to accompany us, we decided to bring Dad home, which i promised him to do once i arrive. “Pagdating ko Dad, iuuwi na kita sa bahay…yun ang gusto mo di ba?” was the promise i gave him on the phone.

Armed with an oxygen tank, his dextroses and infusions hanging and circulating through his shattered veins, we took Dad in an ambulance with my doctor cousin and nurse attending to him, to start the journey back home. Two vehicles accompanied the ambulance, a car infront with my brother driving to show the way to the driver, and following the ambulace was my Mom, an aunt and me in a van. The travel from the hospital to our house seemed like eternity although the distance between the two was only about 40kms away. When we were just about 2km away from our residence, we were stucked in a heavy traffic which forced us to wait for almost one hour till we finally reached home. A mixed feelings of fear, anxiety and impatience wrapped my being during the entire trip unknowing in what condition my father was in that vehicle before us. As we finally reached home, i run to the garage where my brothers started to disembark Dad from the ambulance to transfer him to his comforting matrimonial bed. When they finally laid my father in bed i touched his face and told him “Andito na tayo sa bahay Dad, nakauwi ka na…” He responded to me by moving his eyebrowes..but then i noticed that he is not breathing anymore. So i yelled to my cousin who was setting his dextrose to put it in proper place, “Kuya Ruben…ang Daddy!” Suddenly my Dad took a deep breath. I was watching him intensely while waiting for the next breath to come…till i noticed that no more was coming. “Kuya Ruben…ang Daddy di na ata humihinga!” My cousin checked his pulse, heard with his stethoscope for his heart beat, then he touched my shoulder to tell me, “Let him rest Malu.” That was the most painful words of reality i heard in my life. “Daddy..Daaaddddyyyy!!!! I was yelling, hugging and kissing my father, denying and not accepting the truth, i was floating, dreaming, hurting, agonizing, kissing and hugging my Dad….kissing and hugging…kissing and hugging…..My brother took me in his arms and told me to let my Dad go, that he is resting now, that he doesnt have pain anymore, that he is now in heaven, that…that…that….

I dont know how long it took me to comprehend what was happening on that night. What i know was that my dad fought all the way just to reach home and die peacefully in his bed, that he kept his promise to wait for me, that we granted him his last wish to go home, and that i was beside him when he gave his last breath……..



French Reflections Part II

May 30, 2007• Filed under: Uncategorized• Posted by: Curacha • Comments (9)

The Provence

We booked a panoramic tour to discover the most beautiful hilltop villages in the Provence. These villages were about an hour trip with a private couch from Avignon. Though the weather was quite cloudy and sooo windy, the sight was worth the showers and shivers we experienced.

gordes
Gordes

The village of Gordes was built entirely with dry local stones piled one on top of the other.

abbey
Senanque Abbey

The Abbey is also known for its Lavender Museum. The monks in the abbey are producing lavender honey, lavender soap, scents etc. Behind me was actually a lavender field, but this flower blooms on its finest between the months of June and July, when the whole area turns into a magical color of blue/violet.

roussillon
Roussillon

This village was known for its ochre colored soil, a redish earthly area caused by the oxidation of too much iron content in soil. Where sand and soil in the local vicinity were used in the construction of the houses, it is also not surprising to see that almost all houses there were colored natural earth red too.

les baux
Les Baux de Provence

Another medieval village on a rocky spur in the Alpilles mountains. The movie ” A Good Year” starred by Russel Crowe was shot in this village.

sade
Lacoste

The ruins of the palace of Marquis de Sade in Lacoste. I thought Lacoste was just an exclusive T-shirt brand….till i went in this village….hehe.

Some more pics next post.



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