This is a letter from one bar girl to another bar girl whose boyfriend she apparently stole. This was found in a Malate bar by a friend of the guy who sent me this e-mail. Enjoy it as much as I did!!!

Actual letter found in a bar in Malate:

To Marjie,
I am not surprise or wander why Dennis leave you. Why? What reason you can think about but you’re very fat body. I’m thought before that Dennis only use me to his toy but sooner and later I’m realize that he really can’t not beared or stomached to be with you anymore because at first, Dennis say he could not stand you’re habit of making pakialam all his walks and always calling to their house what time he go home or this or that and then he say he get ashame to met you iether in school or in his family an d then asking you to exercise you’re very, very, very fat body but you hate it you thoughth you’re the most prettiest girls he know about what do you think you are “Beautiful Girl” of Jose Mari Chan even you are beautiful face (to your think) you do not have the rigth to called me whatsoever or else different name one time or the other for the real purposed to insults my personality because I’m never call you names before iether in front of Dennis or in the backs of Dennis, but if you start already to calling me different name, I’m don’t have any other choice but to called you other different name to like you are a PIG, FAT, OBESSED, OVERWIGHT AND UGLY SHAPE girl. Shame to you’re body that is to a BUDING. You can’t not blame Dennis for exchanging you to me because I’m am the more sexier than you when you look to us in the mirror. I’m repeat again that you are like Ike Lozada when she is a girl.
FROM: THE SEXIEST GIRL OF D.M.

At 85 years, Morris marries a lovely 25 year old woman. Because her new husband is so old the woman decides that on their wedding night they should have separate bedrooms.

She is concerned that the old fellow could overexert himself. After the wedding festivities she prepares herself for bed and for the knock on the door she is expecting.

Sure enough the knock comes and there is her groom ready for action. They unite in conjugal union and all goes well whereupon he takes his leave of her and she prepares to go to sleep for the night.

After a few minutes there’s a knock on the door and there old Morris is again ready for more action. Somewhat surprised she consents to further coupling which is again successful after which the octogenarian bids her a fond good night and leaves.

She is certainly ready for slumber at this point, and is close to sleep, for the second time when there is another knock at the door and there he is again fresh as a 25 year old and ready for more.

Once again they do the horizontal boogie. As they’re laying in afterglow the young bride says to him, “I am really impressed that a man your age has enough juice to go at it three times. I’ve been with guys less than half your age who were only good for one time. You’re a great lover Morris.”

Morris looks confused, and turns to her and says,” I was here already?”

Being single, valentine makes me a little bit melancholic. Actually, i didn’t mind not to be in a relationship at all. In my very busy life, i dont even feel that something is missing. Its only during Valentine’s Day that i wish there would be someone who would give me flowers, who will take me out to a candlelight dinner and someone who will tell me how he loves me. Sorry, but i am really a romantic, sentimental fool!!

Two days before the 14th of February, me and my very special cyber friend P decided to meet online on the 14th of February at 9am my time (german time), which would be 1.30pm his time. We will be celebrating this Heart’s Day with each other via internet. Well, why not, i enjoy his company anyway, and this would be a helluva new experience for me. I saw him setting his alarm in his celfon so he wont be late on our date he told me. I woke up early on that day, which was exeptional to the rule coz i usually stay till noon in bed during my day-offs. Yup, yesterday was my off day. I made myself extra beautiful for the day, showered, creamed, perfumed..hahaha!..para bang makikipag date talaga! And then exactly at 9am,..wuuusssshhh…, i go online. 9am became 9.20, no P yet..9.30…9.50. At 10am, i decided to call him, “where the hell are you!”, nope i didn’t say that, although i wanted to.,hehe. So here goes the conversation: ME: ” hi! are you going online?” I don’t want to give an impression of a disappointed, na-indian, angry lady. So i kept my composure while asking. And he has no obligation to me at all, that’s the point. P: “hi sweetheart, happy valentine! i can’t go online im not at home. i’ll see you this evening.” ME: “err, happy valentine! ok”. F**k you! P: “love u jaan”. ME: ” ok, bye”. Hell, he forgot our date!! I was devastated on that day not only because i have to wake up early (the hardest thing in my life), but also because i really hate it when people do not keep their words. So i just went out of the house, go window shopping, then went home again, fix my things which were already overdue coz i hardly find time time to put them in order, and promised myself i wont chat with him anymore. After im done with all my chores, I lazily turned on the tv, just soaps, turned it off again, went to my computer and started to bloghop. I even attempted to update my blog but im just too uninspired to write a single phrase. At 8.30pm, P knocked at my YM, he’s online now. I wanted to ignore him at first but my good upbringing hinders me to act like an offended child. So i greeted him, but in colder, shivering way, unlike how i used to greet him before. Which he promptly noticed. After asking me many times what the matter is, i started to relay to him why im irritated. He explained to me that he thought our date will be at 9pm my time and 1.30am his time. He even set his alarm on that time but thought of going online earlier coz he couldn’t wait any longer to see me. He was so sorry for that mistake and didn’t mean to offend me, lest keep me waiting. Then i realized that might really be a misunderstanding. At exactly 9pm, his celfon started to alarm and showed it to me on cam. Now i really believed him. Then he started sending me files. And guess what he sent me?!! Yup, flowers!! Lots of flowers!! I think he sent me 10 files of beautiful flowers. Wow, i really cried when i received them. I know its just pics, but still they are flowers sent to me by a person i cared so much about. Valentine is over in just a couple of hours that i didnt expect any flower anymore on that day. It’s the first valentine in my life that i received hundreds of flowers from someone who loves me. That really made up for the mistake of time he committed.

Funny, how a person whom i expected the least, could make me the happiest girl on February 14, 2007. It was indeed a memorable day for me, coz he made my day and saved me from drowning in the oblivion of lonesomeness. Through this blog of mine, i would like to express my heartful gratitude to this wonderful guy i met in internet and hoping that we will remain friends till the end of time. For you P., my jaan, i salute you guy! You are one of the most beautiful thing that happened in my life!!