MANNY: Hmm… eh di combine nalang name natin.

JINKY: Magandang idea yan… anong name naman?

MANNY: “Manky”!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

MAN: Miss, 5 viagra nga…

TINDERA: Dami naman Sir!

MAN: Yes, very hot ang date ko eh.

Next Day……

MAN: Miss, 2 boteng Betadine nga..

TINDERA: Sir, anong nangyari sa kamay nyo?

MAN: Hmp, bwiset, di sumipot date ko!!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

LADY: I’m always tired.

DOC: How often do you have sex?

LADY: Daily.

DOC: Skip Saturday.

LADY: I can’t, that’s the only day i’m home with my husband…!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

A boy asked his Dad what’s the difference between TRUTH & BELIEF: The father says, “this is your mom, that’s the Truth…, i am your father, that’s my BELIEF…!!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

Mag-asawa nag-aaway…..

BABAE: Punyeta ka!

LALAKI: Punyeta ka rin!

BABAE: Tarantado ka!

LALAKI: Tarantado ka rin!

BABAE: Demonyo!

LALAKI: Demonyita ka naman!

BABAE: SUPOT!

LALAKI: Kase naman Love, sorry na…..

hehehe….!!!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

Sa Canteen….

JUAN: Miss isang babaeng Siopao nga.

WAITRESS: Babaeng Siopao?

JUAN: Oo, yun may papel na sapin, kumbaga may napkin.

WAITRESS: Ah ganun ba? Ang andito bakla.

JUAN: Bakla?!

WAITRESS: Oo! May sapin din pero may itlog sa loob…!!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

ANAK: Nay, totoo ba na “first love never dies?”

NAY: Ano pa! Tignan mo ang tatay mo, first love ko yan, kaya hanggang ngayon buhay pa ang animal..!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

ANAK: Inay, totoo po bang sabi ng titser na ang baby ay galing sa malaking ibon?

INAY: Yung ibang baby siguro…. pero ikaw, sigurado ako galing ka sa maliit na ibon…!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

Textmates will eyebol….

GIRL: Magsusuot ako ng yellow, ikaw?

BOY: I’ll wear green t-shirt.

At the coffee shop…. ugly girl in yellow came in. No guy in green. She approached the guy in red…

GIRL: Excuse me, are you my textmate?

BOY: Oyy hindi ah, naka-green ba ko ?!

*****oOo*****oOo*****

Away mag-asawa…..

MR: Pag namatay ka isusulat ko sa lapida mo…”malamig nung buhay, mas malamig nung patay!”

MRS: Ganun! Pag ikaw namatay, ilalagay ko…”sa wakas, tumigas din!”